An Organization XIII Adventure
by timelord-at-221B-fleetstreet
Summary: Organization XIII gets an infestation that never was and has to take shelter in Castle Oblivion. Only Kingdom Hearts knows what will happen!
1. Chapter 1

"Alright everybody! Get in the car, we are all taking shelter in Castle Oblivion!" Xemnas yelled, holding the Organization XIII's big RV of death open for all to get in.

"Does everyone have what they need for a week?" Saïx asked.

"I've got my picture of Kingdom Hearts!" Xemnas cried out.

"I've got target practice materials!" Xigbar cried out as well.

"I've got all the cooking stuff!" Xaldin cried. Everyone looked at him, "WHAT? IT'S ALL I NEED! " he sobbed.

"I've got my recent research and my experiment equipment!" Vexen beamed.

"..." Lexeaus said.

"I've got most of the Library That Never Was in my purse!" Zexion yelled (YES HE HAS A PURSE!)

"I've got Roxas!" Axel said, looking at Roxas suggestively, which made him run and go sit at the other end of the RV, "NO ROXAS! LET ME LOVE YOUUUU!"

"I've got all my sheet music and instruments!" Demyx said happily.

"I have all my decks and some munny for whomever is game!" Luxord cried out.

"I've got my flowers and some people to creep on. Isn't that right Naminè?" Marluxia said. "He's so scary," Naminè whispered.

"I've got my yaoi novels, manga, and Marquis de Sade books!" Larxene said, already reading only Kingdom Hearts knows what.

"I've got ice cream!" Roxas said, hiding behind someone.

"ROXAS WHERE ARE YOU?" Axel cried.

"I have all the drugs I could carry!" Xion said, already wasted.

"I have my sketch books and pencils!" Naminè smiled.

"Good! Then we're ready!" Saïx said and buckled up in the passenger seat by Xemnas, naturally.

"Ready?" Xemnas asked, but everyone was already absorbed in whatever they had brought.

"OFF WE GO!" Xemnas cried out.

"Why are we even leaving?" Vexen asked.

"We have an infestation that never was!" Xemnas replied.

"If it never was-" Demyx was cut off by Saïx.

"OUR WHOLE WORLD IS BASED OFF OF BLAH BLAH NEVER WAS! CATCH ON AND TAKE A NAP OR SOMETHING!"

Demyx cried, "I'm sorry!" but still took a nap.

The beginning of the ride was okay, but then Demyx got bored of trying to sleep.

He conspicuously took out his sitar and started playing One Direction.

No one really minded-but then there's Larxene, "Demyx, will you shut the hell up? I'm reading!"

But Demyx continued to sing loudly and strum his sitar, "Demyx!" Larxene said in a warning tone.

"Hey, Dem-Dem! Maybe you could stop?" Xigbar nudged him because he wishes for Demys to see yet another day.

Demyx pushed on with the annoying melody to Larxene's great irritation, "SHUT. UP!"

"WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL!" Demyx sang.

At this point, everyone in the Organization feared for Demyx's life, "DEMYX!" they all cried.

"GOD DAMN IT DEMYX!" Larxene gritted her teeth after he kept singing.

"Demyx, I am your Superior! You will do as I say! SHUT UP!" Xemnas yelled from the driver seat.

"NA NA NA NANA!" Demyx sang on.

"That's IT!" Larxene came out of her supposed room of the RV with her kunai ready.

Xigbar jumped in front of the still singing Demyx, "FOR GOD'S SAKE LARXENE! HE'S JUST A CHILD!"

"Yeah, an ANNOYING ONE WHO DARES DISTURB MY YAOI READING!" Larxene shoved Xigbar away and grabbed Demyx by the collar with fire in her eyes.

Literally.

"H-hey! L-L-Larxene!" Demyx said casually, putting his sitar away, "I wonder who's making all that noise!"

Larxene hissed, "SHUT UP! IT'S YOU!" and then she dragged him into her room.

Everyone in the Organization watched in horror as her door slammed closed, "Let us all have a moment of silence for Demyx," Xemnas bowed his head as they heard tormented screams.

"NO LARXENE, THE FAN GIRLS LUV MY HAIR!" Demyx screamed.

"WELL THEY HATE MY HAIR, NOW WE ARE ON THE SAME BOAT!" Larxene replied.

Then there was a terrifying ZZZZZ. And all the Demyx fan girls cried in their rooms until they drowned.

Naminè doodled on her book, "What are you drawing, Naminè?" Marluxia said in the creepy vampire voice we all-love?

Naminè cluchted her book to her chest, "SOMETHING THAT CAME FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY HEART!"

Marluxia snatched the book away. He opened To where Naminè just was and looked for awhile, "Oh,"

Everyone stared at Marluxia and Naminè for awhile in an awkward state.

Marluxia gently have the notebook back.

Roxas came out from behind Xion, "Why are you behind my back?" Xion asked.

But Roxas ignored her, "Marluxia? What was-"

"Some things are better not said," Marluxia interrupted.

That's when Axel burst in, "ROXAS!" he cried in relief when he saw him behind Xion.

"SHIT!" Roxas cussed and ran.

"WAIT-NO! LET'S HAVE ICE CREAM TOGETHER!" Axel ran after him.

"NO YOUR ICE CREAM TASTES WEIRD, AND I USUALLY FORGET EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS THE NEXT DAY!" Roxas continued to run for dearest life and the virginity he didn't have.

Right that moment, Demyx came out of Larxene's bedroom.

There were murrmurs thoughout the RV and a couple laughs and Xion said, "Oh my God,"

Demyx took a deep breath and sat down next to Xigbar and sat in silence.

After a period of silence, Xigbar asked what was on every bodies minds, "What happened?"

Demyx's hair was mostly burnt off, with only a patch or two there. And his perfect skin was burnt all over by electricity that he almost looked black in some places.

Demyx's lip trembled a little before he started sobbing, "OH IT WAS HORRIBLE! She made me look at pictures of guys 'having fun' as she called it. But really they were just kissing which is wrong! She shaved my hair and burnt my face and even broke my cool new sitar. So I'll have to settle for my old one!"

Everyone stared at him in horror, "We are so very sorry Demyx," Saïx called from the front.

Demyx sniffed again, "Well I guess Larxene doesn't have the worst hair anymore!" Vexen laughed.

"NO ONE THINKS YOU'RE FUNNY VEXEN!" Zexion yelled.

"Ugh! I am so unloved and have barely enough fan girls, and most of the fan fiction I'm in, I'm either making out with the Riku Replica or I'm being tortured by Larxene! Why mummy?" Vexen cried and sat forever alone in the corner.

Lexeaus stared at him in shock, "What a pussy!" he mumbled and other members modded their heads in agreement.

Axel came in again and sat down.

He then made an exaggerated sigh. Everyone ignored him.

*Sigh* from Axel. No response.

"I SAID SIGH DAMN IT!" Axel pounded on the coffee table in front of him.

"What's wrong, Axel?" Xion asked, smoking-something.

Axel them burst into tears, "ROXAS IS ADVOIDING ME!"

Xion sighed, "Aww! I'll hang out with you!"

Then Xion hugged Axel.

Everything was quiet for a second, but then Axel was able to function again.

"EW! GIRL GERMS!" he screamed and ran into the bunk bed in the back of the RV.

Xion stood there for awhile and her bottom lip quivered.

She sat down by Luxord, Xaldin, Marluxia, and Naminè who were playing poker.

"LEAVE NO ONE LIKES YOU FAKE!" Marluxia pushed Xion into the floor, where she layed for a very long time crying.

A couple hours later, Larxene came out of her room. Everyone immediately froze and said nothing.

Nobody even dared to breath.

She walked right up to Saïx and Xemnas, "Leave, we are talking!" Xemnas said, taking his hand out of Saïx's. Which made him pout.

"I'm hungry!" Larxene whined.

"We will stop at 12:30," Xemnas proclaimed.

Larxene checked the clock, "But that's a half hour away!"

"Yes, you can wait," Saïx said calmly.

"NO I WANT FOOD NOW DAMN IT!" Larxene punched Saïx, making him cry.

"Damn it Larxene, you made the dog cry!" Xemnas growled.

"GET ME A FUCKING HAMBURGER AND SOME FREAKING FRENCH FRIES!" Larxene slammed her fists onto the dashboard, making a dent.

"Come on, the warranty JUST EXPIRED!" Xemnas screamed.

"I. Want. FOOD DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!" Larxene hissed.

"Come to think of it I'm hungry!" Naminè shouted.

"Yes, indeed! I to have an empty stomach!" Vexen called.

Then the whole van filled with a chorus of "I'm hungry"s.

Which was probably best for Xemnas, "Fine!"

He went off the next exit and went to the first restaurant he saw.

"Wendy's?" Larxene screamed in disbelief.

"You have a problem?" Saïx asked, who finally stopped crying.

"Yeah! The Wendy's chick sounds like a happy version of me and it pisses me off!" Larxene said.

"Really?" Xemnas asked.

"Hold on," Axel said and took out his iPhone that the fan girls had sent him.

He searched and searched until he found a commercial for Wendy's.

Then off course, "Stop in for Wendy's!"

And everyone chorused an "Ahhh! She does!"

Axel scrolled a little and read something he felt Larxene should know, "Uh, Larxene?"

"What?" Larxene snapped as the line moved forward.

"I hate to tell you, but Wendy is the same voice actress as you!" Axel said.

"NOOOOOO!" Larxene cried out in horror.

"Then can we get free food or something?" Xaldin asked.

"That would make sense," Luxord said.

"Quiet!" Xemnas said and pulled up to the order thingie.

"I welcome to Wendys how can I help you?" the chick asked.

"Can I get 15 cheeseburgers, and 15 fries and 15 cokes and 15 vanilla frosties?" Xemnas ordered.

"Fine! Order the whole restaurant!" she said with all kindness gone.

"Well," Xemnas said.

"That'll be $67.23," she said.

"WHAT?" Xemnas cried out in horror.

Vexen walked up to the front, "What if we said we had the Wendy girl right here with us?"

Larxene glared at him, "You'd get more than half off,"

"What an outrage!" Vexen said, "Talk to them!"

He pushed Larxene onto Xemnas to lean over and talk, "Fuck you," she mumbled.

"Get off!" Xemnas pushed her off.

Larxene hissed, but got up, "Hey! Are you taking my order?"

"Yeah!" she replied.

"Well me and my-uh-family," grimace, "Are on a vacation! And we need all this about the cost of one!"

"Why?" she demanded.

"DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO THE MANAGER?" Larxene demanded.

"Yes, I do!" she said.

"Fine!" Larxene hissed.

"Pull up," she said.

Xemnas pulled up, "Idiots,"

Once up front, an official looking dude came up to the front, "You wanted to talk?"

Vexen came out with Larxene, "Yes!"

"Shoot!" he said motioning for him to begin.

"Well, I am her agent-" Vexen began.

"You are?" Larxene said.

"I am!" he hissed under his breath, "As I was saying this is your mascot's voice, Larxene,"

"I thought your name was Shanelle," the manager glared at Larxene.

"No! That's my stage name!" she said as Wendy-like as she could.

"Hmph, you've changed," he murmured.

"PEOPLE CHANGE GET OVER IT!" Larxene said.

"And you said you wanted a big discount or something?" he asked.

"I DESERVE A BIG DISCOUNT! Or-something," Larxene insisted.

So long story short, manager pissed of Larxene and she killed him and stole all the food and they all drove off into the sunset.

:) 


	2. Chapter 2

Xigbar chewed on his burger obnoxiously, probably trying to test somebody.

But everyone was oddly quiet while they were eating.

Marluxia sighed, "Will you please chew with your mouth closed?"

"No way! I can eat my damned cheeseburger anyway I want!" Xigbar said with his mouth full, making flower not flinch.

"OH MY PRECIOUS HAIR IS GONE!" Demyx suddenly screamed in horror.

"Shut up Demyx! Nobody likes you anymore!" Lexeaus said in an EXTREMLY boring voice.

"WHAT ABOUT YOU, LEXEAUS?" Demyx snapped to everyone's shock, "YOU ARE LEAST PAIRED IN THE YAOI WORLD, YOUR FAN CLUB HAS LIKE FOUR MEMBERS, AND THE ONLY FAN FICTION YOU ARE IN IS YOU GETTING BEAT UP OR YOU WITH ZEXION!"

"Hate to say this, but Demyx is right!" Larxene cut in, "Even Mr. Experiment Guy is more famous than you!"

"And how would you know, Larxene?" Axel asked.

Larxene was silent for a minute before finally answering him, "I-uh just. Um-I uh... I AM A HUGE YAOI FAN GIRL! I THOUGHT IT WAS OBVIOUS!"

"I thought fan girls of yaoi were lesbians!" Naminè muttered, hiding behind Marluxia for protection.

"I am NOT A LESBIAN!" Larxene hollered.

Everyone was quiet, except Xion. She was laughing of how the dust was pretty.

Then Luxord cleared his throat, "Larxene, we accept you for whoever you are. No matter how sadistic, rude, and bitchy you are,"

"It's just, the only way to recovery is admitting you have a problem," Xaldin muttered in his best creeper voice.

"We love you no matter what," Xemnas called from the driver seat.

"I AM NOT A LESBIAN! I JUST LIKE WATCHING GUYS MAKE OUT! THIS MEANS NOTHING!" Larxene hollered.

"It's okay, Larxene," Zexion said, "It's o-kay,"

Larxene stood confused for a second and eventually ran into her room where painful sobs were heard.

"She is such a lesbian," Vexen said once he was positive the lesbian couldn't hear him.

"And we are all super gay," Marluxia added.

"I for one am not gay," Vexen said out loud.

Then everyone laughed big laughs of humor, for we all know that Vexen used his valet for more than one thing.

"I'M NOT A GAY MAN!" Vexen screamed over the roars of laughter, "I JUST LIKE GAY PORN!"

Silence.

"We never even brought that up," Demyx muttered.

Vexen collapsed on the couch where Xion was sitting, "Here," she said passing a bottle, "It eases stress,"

Vexen stared at the bottle, "I do not drink!"

"Except on Fridays, Christmas, birthdays, Mondays, Easters, Tuesdays, Sundays, Holy Days, days people join us. Wednesday, Thursdays, and Valentines Day," Luxord added.

"I DO NOT!" long story short, Vexen took the drink and chugged down ten.

"Alright take a left Xemnas," Saïx said as Vexen gambled his underpants.

"No no no. I know for a fact it's right," Xemnas said.

"Well, the map says otherwise," Saïx replied.

"Well the map is full of shit," Xemnas shot back.

"NO WAY MY MOMMY GAVE ME THIS MAP!" Saïx sobbed.

"Shut up, I'm trusting my Superior instincts!" he said.

"The only you're truly 'superior' at is bed!" Saïx yelled.

"What are you saying? Are you using me?" Xemnas demanded.

"I was at first, but then I got to know the real you!" Saïx cried out.

"Oh, my puppy!" he said and turned right.

"Uhhh-" Saïx trailed off.

"Sh! Don't speak!" he said.

"Ah shut up!" Axel screamed.

They then did, for they were embarrassed.

Demyx sobbed. And everyone immediately turned their attention to him, "What's wrong, Demy?"

"My hair is GONE!" Demyx sobbed again.

Then Xigbar scooped him up and out him in the sobbing boy's bed, "Night-night!"

"Good night," and then he finally went to sleep.

"Roxas! Talk to me!" Axel cried when he opened a cabinet and out tumbled Roxas.

"I'm sorry Axel! I just don't like when you touch my ding-ding!" Roxas sobbed.

"Why not?" Axel cried out in horror.

"BECAUSE IT'S MINE NOT YOUR'S!" Roxas said while sobbing.

Axel took deep calming breathes and escalated himself down to Roxas height, "You could've just told me,"

"I'm *sniff* sorry *sniff* Axel," Roxas sniffed.

"That's okay! Do you want some ice cream?" Axel asked.

"O-okay," Roxas dried his last tear.

"Right back," Axel said. Then he immediately ran into the back, grabbed an ice cream and took it to Xion who was in the bathroom.

"Xion! Give me something heavy!" Axel demanded.

"Why, Axel?" Xion asked as she puked whatever she had.

"For Roxas," he said, "He wants some fun in his life!"

"Okay," Xion said and handed him a bag of something.

Then Axel immediately sprinkled it onto the ice cream and dashed back to Roxas, "Here,"

Naminè's eyes widened, "ROXAS NO!" but it was too late, Roxas had already began to eat the bar.

Then it turned into Larxene's yaoi, which made her very happy.

Axel hadn't noticed, but Larxene was right there in the couch and was enjoying every second of their fun. Which became her fun.

How?

Because she is a sick creature.

"Larxene, come here!" Xemnas called her after Roxas and Axel went into the back room to conclude their time together.

"What?" she groaned when she made her way to the front.

He motioned for her ear, and then he quietly whispered, "I think we're lost,"

"Lost? How?" Larxene demanded.

"LOST?" Saïx roared, "I KNEW IT AND I TOLD YOU TO GO LEFT DIDN'T I?"

"STOP BEING MY WIFE DAMN IT, YOU ARE MY BITCH! NOT MY WIFE!" he screamed.

Saïx then cried a puddle and Larxene left, leaving the bitches to themselves.

"Hey! Look at our resident lesbian!" Xigbar greeted her when she made her way to her room.

"I AM NOT A LESBIAN!" Larxene hissed at him.

"Sure, I bet you are just waiting for the right time to fuck Naminè or Xion," Zexion said as he read some random book he brought.

"I HATE YOU ALL!" Larxene said and started going back into her room.

"Wait!" Vexen called to her.

"What?" Larxene hissed.

"As your manager, I demand you play spin the bottle. That is, if you're not a lesbian-" Vexen said.

"Okay 1. YOU ARE NOT MY AGENT! 2. I HATE YOU ALL!" Larxene screamed.

"Come now, Larxie. Let's play," Vexen guided her over to the kitchen of the RV where he got a bottle, "Everyone in the living room!"

(Yes their RV is like a house! All are!)

"Everyone! We are going to play spin the bottle!" Vexeb announced.

Some were happy, others weren't. But Vexen won this argument.

With science on side, HE COULDN'T LOSE! 


	3. Chapter 3

Larxene watched the bottle in concentration. Willing it not to land on her.

For it was Xemnas's turn.

The bottle spun round and round and everyone was tense and no one dared to move. No one (except Saïx) wanted some of Xemnas.

NO ONE!

The bottle began to slow down, and everyone gasped as the tip of the bottle stopped and pointed to...

(pause for dramatic effect)

(still pause)

(still)

(just a little longer)

It landed on Lexeaus.

Everyone( except Saïx) immediately burst into peals of laughter and Zexion apologized in between rounds of laughter.

Xemnas grimaced as Lexeaus scooted over to him, which only made everyone else laugh harder. For who on this planet doesn't enjoy good old aquaintinces make-out because the bottle has chosen?

Although, no one laughed when the kiss actually started because it was just plain awkward for everyone.

EVERYONE!

That included you! Stop laughing damn it!

After the annual count of twenty seconds (the Organization's time frame for spin the bottle) was done, the two broke apart and they were both crying, which made everyone laugh again.

Xemnas passed the bottle to Xigbar, "Your turn,"

Axel passed Xemnas some chocolate to get rid of the awful taste of the large and scary Nobody that everyone hates.

Xigbar took a deep breath and spun the bottle.

Everyone in the room grew tense again as the bottle spun around and around.

Everyone crossed their fingers for whatever they wanted as the bottle began to slow to a stop.

It landed on Demyx. Which made him whine and cry as Xigbar went over to him to do what a man has got to do.

1...2...3...4.

"TWENTY!" Larxene screamed when it was over.

Demyx cried and huddled into himself and Xaldin was given the bottle.

Everyone winced as the bottle began to spin again.

Axel sighed and gripped onto himself because he is a sick man once the bottle landed on Roxas.

Roxas let a cry out as the big ugly Xaldin leaned down and began.

Larxene was cackling madly the whole time, her yaoi had come true! This made our sadist very happy.

VERY SLAP YOUR KNEE HAPPY!

"Twenty," Vexen took the bottle and placed it on the ground.

He took a deep breath and spun the bottle.

No one wanted the damn bottle to land on them. No one likes Vexen. NO ONE.

To kiss him would be the worst experience one Nobody could ever go through.

The bottle slowed.

Marluxia began to sweat, Luxord was praying, and Larxene was biting her nails.

It was definitely going to be one of the three.

The bottle stopped.

And there was a scream. One that pierced your very soul.

Two sighed in relief, while the other almost fainted.

"Who's laughing now?" Axel laughed at the victim.

Vexen went over to our poor poor victim and kissed them.

Just to make the record straight, our victim cried. Which was very unusual for this particular Nobody.

This Nobody which we now pray for was Larxene.

When Vexen's time was up, poor Larxene ran to the kitchen and started rinsing out her mouth.

She ate chocolate and pizza which was somehow there and not moldy.

And she cried so fucking hard that it's a miracle her eyes are still in her skull.

But Vexen was also trying to recover too by meditation. Because that helps.

Lexeaus took the bottle and spun it while Larxene recovered.

And it landed on Xemnas.

-Twenty awful seconds later-

Zexion took the bottle and spun it with a flair. Which is why we all call him the Gay Emo and we have millions of fan clubs for him.

Don't question me!

It landed on Naminè.

"UGH I HAVE TO KISS A GIRL!" Zexion screamed.

Naminè cried, "WHY IS EVERYONE HERE SO GAY?"

Which shocked EVERYONE (yes you too).

Axel sighed, "Because we are. Got it memorized?"

Naminè grimaced and Zexion went over to little uninnocent Naminè .

Their kiss was very awkward. Not as awkward as Vexen's, but enough to disturb the core of them all.

Axel sighed and took the bottle, for Saïx was driving, and was too grown up for such nonsense.

Which upset Xemnas.

A lot.

Too much.

GOT IT?

So Axel spun the bottle and landed on the bitch Larxene who had just finished getting rid of Vexen germs, "COME ON! I JUST CLEANED OFF VEXEN!"

"Hey! I am not all that bad!" Vexen called out.

And everyone responded, "YES YOU ARE!"

And Vexen went forever alone in the corner again.

So Axel cried and went over to a pissed off Larxene, "Please don't kill me," he muttered and dove in.

Everyone thought it was amusing, except them. They tried to do their job and kiss, but they did so awful that they had to start over after twenty seconds.

Which made Roxas very mad.

"ROXAS SMASH!" he said after they had finally done it right.

Axel let him, "There, there. I love you most,"

"Strong words for a Nobody," Vexen cut in.

"SHUT UP NO ONE LIKES YOU!" they all screamed except Larxene who was getting rid of traces that Axel had kissed her.

Demyx took the bottle and spun it. Everyone laughed very hard when it landed on himself.

For he kissed his arm, and everyone said he had to spin again.

The second time it landed on Zexion. Which wasn't too had considering Demyx loved Zexion.

"Ahh, Demy! GET THE HELL OFF OF MY ZEXY!" Lexeaus screamed after twenty seconds was over.

"Sorry," he blushed.

Luxord grabbed the bottle, "Lady Luck. Be on my side,"

The bottle went slowly around, and it made it's way to Xion.

Xion had been sick all day, so no one wanted to make out with her.

"PLEASE NO!" Luxord begged.

"The bottle has spoken!" Larxene said in a weird voice, making everyone laugh harder.

So another long story short, Luxord had to obey the damned bottle.

Marluxia took the bottle and spun it. Since he is flower boy, he is quite the pansy. So it only went around slow, and landed on Vexen.

Making Larxene die of laughter. Literally, Zexion had to revive her.

So another awkward kiss later, it was time for Larxene to go. She signed and closed her eyes before spinning the bottle.

At the sound of everyone's gasps, Larxene opened her eyes to reveal the bottle on Naminè.

"AH COME ON!" she screamed. Yet another long story short, Larxene had to kiss Naminè and everyone made lesbian jokes about her causing a thunder storm killing many.

Okay, let's sum the rest of this up, for this is just boring!

Roxas had to kiss Luxord.

Xion had to kiss Larxene.

And Naminè had too kiss Larxene.

"Tonight several storms hit the worlds abruptly. Reporters say there was no warning before hand, just sudden clouds appeared and began their course. Millions died, and insane cackles filled wounded's ears, making them go mad themselves. We will brief you once we find more right here on TMJ,"

Everyone stared at Larxene, "I AM STILL NOT A LESBIAN AND I CAN'T HELP WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LOSE CONTROL!"

And no one slept with peace at mind. 


	4. Chapter 4

Axel was the last to go to sleep that night for he had pranks to pull.

He was sick of some of the member's pride and he wanted to take them down.

He cackled evilly into the night with thunder and lightning conveniently in the background.

Then he dreamed of sugar puffs, mountains of cotton candy, and sliding down a rainbow with Roxas naked.(of course)

-That morning-

Larxene opened her eyes and saw that her room was filled with bubble wrap, "What the hell?"

She saw something like this in a movie, if you make a wrong move it triggers something. Only that movie had strings, so she had no idea where to start.

"Xemnas!" Larxene screamed.

She waited a couple minutes so Sir Mansex could get his clothes back on, but no sound was sent through the RV.

So Larxene decided to wait until later hours.

WAITING WAS BORING DAMN IT! She had decided after five minutes.

She looked at her alarm clock, and it said 5:07, "What the hell is going on?!"

Larxene never woke up early.

E-VER.

She reached for her iPhone in her desk, but it was covered in bubble wrap, too.

Could she risk it?

After another twenty minutes of waiting, she decided it was the best idea...

"AHHHHH!" a scream woke everyone in the Organization immediately.

"What's going on?" Demyx asked with a green facial mask still on.

"How am I supposed to know?!" Lexeaus responded with curlers in his hair.

Vexen ran out of his chambers with a duck robe on, "WHAT HAS HAPPENED?!"

"We don't know!" Luxord responded.

Axel frowned, "I do,"

"AXEL!" Larxene yelled and everyone immediately made a wall of protection around him.

The sight of Larxene was truly priceless. Her hair was pink and completely flat (I don't know why!). She was covered in some sort of black liquid and had-pillow feathers (?) all over her body.

Oh yeah, and in her hand, her iPone was red and had 'SUCKER' painted on the back.

All members already had pictures of the scene, and before anyone could react, Marluxia came out with the same appearance (only his hair was blond).

"WHOEVER DID THIS WILL PAY!" Marluxia screamed.

"RIGHT AFTER WE TAKE A DAMNED SHOWER!" Larxene yelled.

"That might be smart," Marluxia said.

"Yes, indeed. You be right here, expecting us!" Larxene said.

"Yeah! Just you wait!" they then creeped back into the bathrooms and proceeded to fight over who goes first.

Once they were definitely out of earshot, they all huddled, "Okay we have to find a way to kill them before its too late!" Axel hissed under his breath, not risking Larxene overhearing.

"No! We aren't committing a murder on this RV, there'd be way too much evidence!" Xemnas hissed back.

"Well-how are we going to save Axel?" Demyx asked.

"Blame it on the damned dusks!" Xigbar volunteered.

"Well, we could-of we brought any," Saïx answered, eliminating that stragety.

"We could just tell the truth and let the pieces fall where they may!" Naminè suggested.

Silence fell over the group, before Xemnas answered, "That is the dumbest idea I have EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!"

Then everyone nodded in agreement and shunned Naminè to the kitchen where women belong.

"Why don't we just disguise Axel as someone else and send him away and change his name to Diego!" Xion suggested.

"Where would I go?" Axel asked.

"Canada! Where all Diegos go!" Xion answered.

"Xion, you're stupid," Zexion said and Xion was shunned to the kitchen where women belong.

"I got it!" Vexen cried suddenly.

"WHAT?!" everyone asked at once.

"We could act like this never happened! That she and Marluxia dreamed it up or something!" Vexen finished.

"Well, that's dumb. But it's the best thing we had thought up so far," Xemnas said.

"WHO DID THIS?!" Larxene said, running out of the bathroom. She had gotten the liquid (Axel had proved it to be motor oil) off and her hair had a tint of pink, but it was mostly off.

"Did what Larxene?" Roxas asked innocently.

"YOU KNOW WHAT!" Larxene yelled in his face, which made him cry and cuddled into Axel.

"Dude, not cool. You scared my little bitch for no reason," Axel glared at Larxene.

"NO I DIDN'T MY ROOM WAS A COMPLETE PRANK ZONE AND MY HAIR IS PINK DAMN IT! PINK!" Larxene ranted and everyone looked at her like she was crazy. Which she is.

"Larxene, that never happened. I have no idea what you are talking about," Xemnas said calmly.

Larxene's jaw dropped to the floor, "Yes it did!"

"You're just crazy Larxene. Go back to bed," Vexen said in a soothing voice, which only made her angrier.

"WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR! IT'S PINK!" Larxene pointed to her pinkish hair.

"No it's not," Saïx insisted.

Larxene was completely at a loss for words. Which is very rare, and truly it never has happened before, "I just looked in a mirror and it is PINK!"

Axel shook his head, "Larxie, we are all looking at you now, and your hair is not pink,"

"Maybe you just dreamt it all up," Naminè suggested.

Larxene's eyes widened, "I'M NOT CRAZY! I SWEAR-"

"We know, we know. Now go read your yaoi or something," Zexion guided her back into her room.

"B-but-my phone!" Larxene grabbed it off the counter and flipped it over to reveal a clean phone!

"What about it?" Luxord asked.

"It had paint on it before," Larxene muttered.

"Sure it did, sweet heart," Xigbar said, and patted her shoulder, but she didn't respond. She was frozen in shock.

"I think I'll lie down," she muttered and burst into now clean room.

Zexion sighed, "Now it's Marluxia's turn,"

"How did you clean everything so fast, Axel?" Xemnas asked.

"Because I am a magical penguin man, duh!" Axel did jazz hands and all of us fan girls swooned and swore that Axel is real.

"WHO HAS DONE THIS?!" Marluxia demanded storming out of the bathroom. Just like Larxene, he was clean. But unlike Larxene, his hair was completely back to normal.

"Done what?" Xaldin asked, making eggs and panacakes. Which is manly, somehow.

"WHO SABOTAGED MY BEDROOM DYED MY HAIR AND COVERED ME IN OIL?!" Marluxia screamed while summoning his scythe which made flower petals fly everywhere which is manly.(?)

"None of that happened Mar-Mar," Xion said in a calming voice.

"IT JUST DID YOU HIGH IMBECILE!" he said waving his weapon which caused more flower petals to fly around.(again ?)

"You could've just dreamed that that happened," Axel suggested, still comforting his bitch.

"IT MOST CERTAINLY DID HAPPEN!" more flower petals. So. Gay.

"No, Marluxia. It most certainly did not," Vexen replied, still forever alone in the corner.

Marluxia was as still and stunned as Larxene just was. But he wasn't as bitchy and stubborn as Larxene was, so he went to his room right then.

"Ugh, this Organization is so fucked up," Lexeaus said.

"NO ONE ASKED YOU!" Demyx yelled.

"No one likes me," Lexeaus cried into Zexion's shoulder.

"There, there. I like your disfigured penis," Zexion patted his shoulder.

Everyone decided to ignore that little statement.

"DAMN IT!" Xigbar swore and threw his PS3 remote on the ground.

"What's wrong?" Demyx asked in a cute little boy voice.

"Did anyone tell Larxene that she's impossible to beat in Re:COM?" Xigbar pressed 'continue'.

"Nooooo-" Demyx said.

"LARXENE!" Xigbar screamed as the beginning of the battle started.

"WHAT?" Larxene yelled, probably mad to be interrupted.

"YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO BEAT IN RE:CHAIN OF MEMORIES!" Xigbar yelled.

"UH-OKAY!" she said, obviously confused.

"Let me see!" Axel took the remote after Xigbar died again and took over.

A few minutes of pownage, Axel finished her off and everyone was astonished.

"And that's how you defeat a bitch while owning," Axel said like a boss. 


	5. Chapter 5

Larxene stared into her mirror. She could swear to Kingdom Hearts her hair was pink earlier!

It still had a pinkish tint to it, but everyone said that she was crazy or something.

But Larxene could tell the difference between a dream or reality.

The most obvious difference between reality and a dream was in the end of the dream, Larxene ended up meeting a porn star and he became the Superior.

That obviously didn't happen.

Larxene sighed, "WHY CAN'T OUR SUPERIOR BE A FREAKING PORN STAR?"

"He is!" Xigbar called from the living room. Xemnas had said something apparently because Xigbar said, "Whatever,"

Then Larxene thought back to what happened. She had distinctly remembered them all taking pictures of her, so would they still be on their phones?

Axel scrolled through the pictures he had taken of Larxene that morning. Everyone in the Organization had told him to delete the pics, but he couldn't part with them.

THE PENGUIN MAN COULDN'T DELETE THE DAMN PICTURES!

"Roxas!" Axel called, very bored now that Larxene had exiled herself into her room like a loner.

"What?" he asked while eating his panacakes, "Wow Xaldin! You cook like my mom!"

"Are you trying to say something?" Xaldin asked, pausing Mario Kart.

"Yeah, you cook like a girl!" Vexen answered for Roxas.

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?" he hissed at Vexen.

"That you are a pussy, that's all," Vexen answered very clearly.

"I WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU, I DO HAVE A PENIS!" Xaldin screamed, "Right, Xigbar?"

"Dude!" Xigbar turned a bright red, "I told you never to speak of it!"

"WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT?" Larxene burst out of her room.

"Yep, as soon as we bring up gay sex she comes running," Luxord said, dealing the cards for a game of poker with Naminè and Marluxia.

"SHUT UP, Cardboy! Or else I will cut you up so much not even SURGERY WILL BE ABLE TO HELP YOUR SORRY ASS!" Larxene bared her knives which made Luxord sink into his seat whimpering.

Then Xion took all of Luxord's money mumbling about how she needed more money.

"Hey, Axel!" Larxene walked over to the magical penguin man.

"I DIDN'T DO IT LARXENE! IT WAS DEMYX! IT WAS DEMYX!" Axel pointed a shaking finger to the bald Demyx.

"I'm not here to bust you for anything," Larxene said in a bored voice.

He relaxed out of the fetal position, "Then what do you want?"

"I need to borrow your phone," Larxene said.

Axel grew uncomfortable and didn't like where this was going, "W-why?"

"Because I dropped mine on the floor and it's broken for the time being and I need to call someone," Larxene said quickly.

"Who do you need to call? Your girlfriend?" Axel asked in a really cute voice which caused all of us fangirls to die.

"I AM A STRAIGHT WOMAN!" Larxene hissed.

"Sure," Axel nodded.

"Just give me the damn phone!" Larxene held out her hand

"Who are you calling? Your mommy?" he said in another cute voice which killed everyone who ever saw Axel.

"I'M CALLING A TATOO PARLOR!" Larxene blurt out the first thing that came to mind.

Everyone looked at her funny, "Why do you need to call a tatoo parlor?" Axel asked slowly.

"I, uh- was uh, going to get um, a tatoo this Saturday but uh,y'know we're um, not close to the place anymore. So I uh-have to um, cancel," Larxene eventually was able to choke out.

"What tatoo were you gonna get?" Axel asked, honestly curious.

"Ummmmm-" Larxene had to think fast or she would be haunted by the fact she might be crazy.

"Ahh, embarrassed? We're you gonna get a gay pride one?" Axel said, trying to get her mad again.

"NO! I was going to get a lightning bolt or something like that," Larxene replied.

"Why no gay pride tatoo?" Xaldin asked as he began to wash the dishes.(O.o)

"I'M NOT LESBIAN THAT'S WHY!" Larxene screamed, shattering the eardrums of everyone in a two mile radius of the RV.

"Larxene, we accept you," Axel said.

Larxene hissed and smacked Axel, which made fan girl zombies that had vengeance in their eyes.

"Where would you get this lightning bolt tatoo?" Vexen asked.

"Downtown That Never Was," Larxene answered plainly.

"No, I mean where on your body?" Vexen asked.

"On my neck," Larxene rubbed where she would want a tatoo if she were to get one.

"Oh, I'd thought you would put it somewhere else. Somewhere more nude," Vexen said.

"Why would you think that?" Larxene crossed her arms.

"No reason," Vexen said and took his forever alone corner space.

"No, tell me," Larxene walked over to Vexen.

"Ah, it's nothing. Just that you're a slut," Vexen muttered.

Larxene froze for a second and that gave everyone a chance to run to their bomb shelter which was just behind a couch.(idiots, thinking you can hide from Larxene behind a couch)

"YOU ARE GOING TO SUFFER!" Larxene took Vexen by the neck and dragged him to her room.

"Please no! I didn't mean it! I really didn't!" Vexen screamed.

On the way to her room, Vexen tried to grab onto something that was heavy so he could be saved.

In the long run though, Larxene ended up taking cabinets out of the wall, breaking the flat screen, and putting holes in the walls.

The door slammed so loud that the flying spaghetti monster awoke from his slumber. Causing an earthquake.  
Of meatballs.

Everyone came out from behind the couch slowly and Saïx screamed, "I'm coming for you Superior!" because Xemnas is a moron and he still drove on.

"NO LARXENE! I HAVEN'T TESTED THAT YET! What are you doing with that hook? Those are used to get eyes out of a mummies skull, do you realize-AHHHHHH"

But all they cared was the TV. For no one loves Vexen, "NOOOO, TV! WHYYYY?"

But wait! Axel is a magical penguin man! He packed an extra TV!

"Thanks, Axel!" Naminè squealed.

"So who's going to set up the TV now that Vexen has no eyes?" 


	6. Chapter 6

It was about 2:30 in the afternoon when Vexen finally arose out of Larxene's room. Or as the Organization had come to know it: The Headquarters of Everything Gay.

Vexen had a huge bandage over one eye, and the other one was red where it should be white.

"What-" Zexion started to ask, but Vexen out his hand up.

"Somw things are better not known, my bitch," he had said before sitting down in his forever alone corner which they labeled.

Then, the RV jerked as if it hit a deer or something, "What the hell?" Xigbar screamed, "I was just about to beat Axel's sorry ass on Re:COM!"

"My ass isn't sorry unless it has been defeated!" Axel called from the kitchen where he was looking for some food that wasn't fancy.

In other words, what wasn't made by Xaldin. Unfortunately, Xaldin was the only one besides Vexen who knew how to cook. And he was the only one who could cook.

"I don't get this world," Axel mumbled and went to his magical food stash which stored hot Cheetos!

The magic penguin man fucking loved hot Cheetos. He wished that everyone loved hot Cheetos so there could be more in this universe.

"Axel!" there was a knock on his door that was loud and obnoxious.

"What?" he said, hiding his beloved hot Cheetos.

"I need your phone!" Larxene screeched, pounding on the door again.

"Seriously? You can't use anyone else's?" Axel groaned as he stood up to get his phone.

"No, your phone is the only one that works fast!" Larxene started tapping her foot, wanting the damn phone.

Axel sighed and slipped the phone underneath the door, "NOW LEAVE ME ALONE YOU BITCH!" Axel yelled and got his hot Cheetos out again and began munching.

Larxene ran into her room, and when she locked up her door, she cackled wildly with thunder and lightning conveniently in the background.

She turned it on and those in his passcode that she knew, for she is a crazy stalker when she is bored.

Photos.

"Come on! Load damn it!" she yelled at the annoyingly slow device.

She opened all of his pictures when it finally decided to load, and as she expected, there was millions of pictures of her in her darkest hour.

Demyx squinted at the hand mirror, trying to find any trace of hair at all.

"Yes! A strand of hair!" he cried out in happiness, "I shall make you lucky, because you are the first hair to grow back, so you must be pretty lucky!"

"God, did you name your chest hairs in high school, too?" Marluxia asked.

"Yes, I did," Demyx said with pride, "Everyone does it!"

"No, only freaks do that," Leaxeaus said(like he isn't a freak)

"Do not!" Demyx whined.

"Do to!" Lexeaus immediately fired back.

"Do not!"

"Do to!"

"Alright, this will be the last time I ask calmly," Larxene burst into the living room, "Who. Pulled. That prank?"

"Oh, she's at it again," Luxord said.

"I know it happened, absolutely positive," Larxene crossed her arms.

"It didn't happen, Larxene," Naminè said in an innocent voice.

"Then what are these?" Larxene held up Axel's phone with the pics pulled up.

"Uh, photoshop?" Roxas volunteered.

"Yeah, what he said," the rest of the members agreed.

"No, these are original! Now-WHO DID IT?" Larxene screamed, making Zexion, Axel, and Marluxia come out of their rooms.

Larxene grabbed Roxas, "Now, I know it was you Axel, since these are on your phone! All you gotta do is confess, or your bitch gets it!"

Axel grabbed Naminè, "Put him down Roxas or your bitch gets it!"

They stared at eachother for a long time. Everyone was completely silent.

"Confess," Larxene said through her teeth.

"Put him down," Axel squeezed Naminè until she winced.

"You know that doesn't faze me. I'm straight!" Larxene said through her teeth.

Axel stared right into Larxene's nonexistent soul.

"Oh well," Larxene shrugged and started to drag Roxas to her room.

Axel put his chakram on Naminè's throat, "I'll do it,"

"And then I'll laugh. Even if I was lesbian, Naminè wouldn't be my bitch," Larxene grinned and continued to drag Roxas.

"Help me Axel!" Roxas cried.

"NOOOOO!" Axel screamed and threw Naminè into the kitchen where women belong and ran to Roxas.

Larxene opened her door slowly and dramatically before Axel grabbed Roxas' foot, "I DID IT!" he screamed.

Larxene closed her door and threw Roxas into the video game room (living room) where men belong.

"I'm sorry, but I had to!" Axel cried, literally.

Before anyone could react, Larxen opened her door and threw Axel in, and slammed the door.

"Poor Axel," Demyx sniffed and out miracle growth on his bald head.

Xion grabbed all the chips on the table, "Izza winzzz some drugg munnyyy,"

She fell on the floor and Luxord put her in the kitchen where women belong.

"Naminè! What are you doing?" Marluxia asked.

"Drawing," she whimpered.

"Is it appropriate?" Marluxia asked.

"No," she squeezed the sketchbook to her chest.

"Can I see it when your done?" Marluxia jumped up and down like a fangirl. But wait-he is a fangirl.

"Sure," Naminè went on with her drawing.

Zexion turned the page of the book he was reading.

He was in his dark room and he was trying to perfect the art of reading in the dark.

Knock knock, "Zexion?" the door creaked open.

"AHHH THE LIGHT! THE LIIIIIIIGHT!" he jumped underneath his covers and read forever alone.

The door closed and Zexion jumped right back out of the covers and continued to read.

"Xemnas! We're starting to slow down," Saïx observed.

"Yes, I see that," Xemnas looked at the speed meter thingie, "Maybe we should get more gas?"

"Yes, that sounds about right," Saïx said.

So Xemnas went off at the next exit that had a gas station.

"What the hell are we doing?" Marlixia asked.

"Getting some gas," Xemnas replied.

"Oh," said the gay flower boy.

They got to the station and Saïx jumped out the RV and went to the other side of the RV to get some gas.

He took the weird gas injector thingie and turned to install into the hole on the RV.(PS that looks SO WRONG WHEN YOU ARE GETTING GAS!)

Then Saïx noticed it. His could he not? It was a huge problem.

"Xemnas!" he called.

"What?" the superior asked.

"We've got a flat," 


	7. Chapter 7

"Attention, all of Organization XIII!" Xemnas summoned everyone into the living room.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and walked into the spacious living room.

Axel was still missing, and no one asked Larxene. Because she's a scary person. Too scary...

So anyways, the meeting began as soon as Zexion arose from his cave.

"I hate to say this awful news that has been delivered to us," Xemnas began his big announcement.

"Can we just get to the point? I have a victim to take care of," Larxene said with an evil glint in her eyes that scared us all.

"Anyway- our tire has gone flat," everyone gasped, but Larxene just said, "Is that it?"

"Saïx has called a mechanic that has been recommended to us by someone who works here, and they will get here in an hour," Xemnas continued.

"So are we just going to stay in here while they're fixing it? Because the radiation-" Vexen started (does fixing a far even cause radiation?)

"No, we have to go to the nearest motel which is a ten minute walk away from where we are now," Saïx interrupted.

"What's theorem called?" Xigbar asked the question that was on everyone's mind. Except Axel, he was thinking about how he would get out of the Headquaters of Everything Gay.

"Candy Mountain Cave," Xemnas answered. Everyone looked at him really strange (except Axel, he was looking at all the cuts on his hand alone)

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Zexion said after a period of silence.

"It's all we have, so let's just get there before anything else goes wrong with this RV," Xemnas grabbed a suitcase.

Everyone took anything that they would need for a night and met back in the living room.

Axel was a disaster. His makeup that we all love was smeared as if he was crying it off. His hair was cut short. Almost as short as Larxene's.

He was covered in scratches and honestly looked awful, "AXEL! I'M SO SOOOORRRYYY!" Roxas cried into Axel's chest.

"It's okay buddy," Axel patted Roxas on the head.

So yeah they started walking to freaking Candy Mountain. Roxas was getting a piggy back ride from Axel of course.

Zexion was reading while he walked and Lexeaus just stared at him, which wasn't creepy.

Xigbar was playing on his PSP, while Xaldin played on Xigbar's DS.

Vexen being forever alone, didn't have anything.

Demyx was singing traveling music, which annoyed Larxene.

Saïx and Xemnas were talking about how this would throw them off track, and they probably won't even make it to Castle Oblivion.

Marluxia was making things grow along side of the road while talking to Naminè who was sketching.

Xion was getting high and Luxord was asking if he could go to the casino.

Larxene started out reading like Zexion, but she moved into complaining. She complained about how her boots were hurting her.

She complained about how hot it was even if it was 9. She complained about how the wind was messing up her hair.

She complained about Demyx singing. She also complained about the motel name.

Eventually, everyone told her to shut the fuck up.

Ten wonderful minutes later, they finally made it. They had thought the title was metaphorical, but Candy Mountain was literally a Candy Mountain.

Larxene huffed, "This is a joke, right?" but it wasn't. And it annoyed the whole group.

The weirdest thing about it all, was it was actually a motel.

People were walking in and out with bags and family. But there was something fucked up about these people.

They were happy. Like, too happy. Like mindfucked happy.

Have you ever seen Invader Zim? If the answer is no to have no life.

So, anyway. If you have seen Invader Zim, you have definetly seen the episode Waffles. If you haven't, his dare you call yourself a fan of that series.

So you remember the kid that Zim tested on to see how happy he could be?

Recall how happy he looked. That's how happy everyone was coming out. Like they were mindfucked.

Automatically, Larxene screamed and tried to run away, but Vexen grabbed her hood before she could leave.

"I DON'T WANNA GO! I DONT WANNA GO! I. DONT. WANT. TO. GOOOOO!" Larxene cried.

"Saïx, what is that?" everyone turned to see what Roxas was pointing at, even Larxene settled enough to check.

The sign off of 'Candy Mountain' came off the sign and jumped right in front of the fifteen freaked out Organization members (and aquantainces).

Then the 'Y' took a deep breath before, "When you're down and looking for some cheering up then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain motel! When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land. Such a happy and joy filled and perky merry land. They've got lollipops and gumdrops and candy things. Oh so many things that will brighten up your day! It's impossible to frown in candy town. It's the Mecca of love of the candy motel. They've got jelly beans and coconuts with little hats! Candy rats chocolate bats it's a wonderland of sweets. Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band. Candy bells it's a treat as they march across the land. Cherry ribbons stream across the sky and to the ground. Turn around it astounds it's a dancing candy tree. In the candy motel imagination runs free. So now will you please check in?"

Then of course they burst into flames.

Everything was quiet except for Larxene's heavy breathing. Then Larxene snapped.

She screamed and Vexen grabbed her right before she tried to run and she kept yelling, "THAT WAS SICK! ESPICALLY THE COCONUTS WITH LITTLE HATS! DON'T MAKE ME GO PLEASE! I'LL SLEEP IN THE GUTTER! PLEASE I DONT WANNA GOOOOO!"

But they had already dragged her in and they were checking in, "Hello I need a room for fifteen," Xemnas said to a peppermint.

"I'm sorry," said the peppermint, "But we don't have a room for fifteen,"

"Understandable. May we then have fifteen rooms?" Xemnas asked.

"Allow me to check if we have enough," the peppermint started going through the catalog.

"Going to be away from Saïx tonight huh Xemnas?" Axel said with mischievous printed in his voice.

"It's a thing a man must do once and awhile," Xemnas said strongly.

"What? Abstain from sex?" Vexen asked.

"Yes," Xemnas nodded.

"That's stupid!" Larxene cut in, "No sex?"

"That must be awful for you to be away from Naminè, huh Larxene?" Axel said playfully.

Larxene flipped him off, and an alarm went off, "Inappropriate behavior!" it chanted.

"Huh?" Larxene said confused as two candy canes came.

"You are coming with us for a lesson," one said.

"No way! You can't tell me what to do!" Larxene said and broke one candy cane.

"NO JIMMY!" the other screeched, "HE WAS SO YOOOUUUNG!"

More candy canes came out, "Miss, you have to have double lesson time now,"

"How long is that?" Larxene demanded.

"An hour," a gumdrop answered.

"I am not doing that!" Larxene screamed.

Then she got tasered, "We'll bring her to her room when she is done," a reeses said and they all dragged her away.

"Hmph. I like the service," Xion said, still hazy from the drugs she took.

"Alright, sir. We don't have fifteen, but we have seven!" it said happily.

"So-" Xemnas said encouraging her to go on.

"So you all get a roommate and one of you has to have two," the peppermint explained.

They huddled and began stragety, "Okay, the three girls will take the three partnership,"

"Ahh, so Larxie will get sex tonight," Axel said sweetly, getting glares from Naminè and Xion.

"So, me and Saïx will pair up," (of course) "Xigbar and Xaldin. Vexen and-uh-Demyx. Lexeaus and Zexion. Axel and Roxas," (YES) "Luxord and Marluxia. And yes that's it,"

"BREAK!" they all called.

"That would be nice," Xemnas said, taking the papers and keys. 


	8. Chapter 8

Naminè dug through her suitcase. She had brought her pajamas from the RV! She knew she did!

Well, she thought she did.

The bad thing was, if she didn't have her pjs, she would have to wear her itchy sundress to bed.

She could barely go through the day with it on, much less the night.

Naminè sighed as she heard Xion throw up again, "Why do you take that stuff if you end up like this in the end?"

"Becuase it heals me!" Xion said between rounds of throwing up.

"Sometimes, I can't believe her," Naminè muttered to herself.

Abruptly, the door opened and Larxene was shoved onto the bed that was supposed to be Naminè's.

"Uh, Larxene. That's my bed," Naminè said cautiously, not wanting to die.

Instead of freaking out, Larxene genuinely smiled at her, "Of course, Naminè! I didn't mean to bother you!"

"Uhm, you didn't," Naminè said, taken aback.

"That's good!" Larxene slid off the bed, "So which one is mine?"

"Uh, the one closet to the window," Naminè said, still confused.

"Thank you, Naminè," Larxene adjusted herself onto the bed.

"Uh, are you okay?" Naminè asked Larxene.

"I've never felt more sweet! Why do you ask?" Larxene answered.

"Well, you don't seem like yourself," Naminè said carefully, scared she might trigger something. Causing her to go back to normal. Although that would be more comforting.

Larxene giggled. Not a Larxene giggle. A Strawberry Shortcake giggle, "Well, they showed me that my behavior was awful! I felt bad for hurting everyone-so I changed!"

Naminè smiled, really creeped out, "Well, if you'll excuse me, for a minute,"

"Don't get lost sweetie!" Larxene called after her.

As soon as Naminè closed the door, she ran right to Axel's room. Why Axel? Because he was her only prayer of pissing Larxene off and putting her back to normal.

"Axel!" she cried, pounding on the door. All the response she got was the sound of kissing, "AXEL THIS IS IMPORTANT!"

There was some shuffling, but eventually Axel opened the door, "What?" he said, shirtless.

"There's something wrong with Larxene," Naminè gasped out quickly.

"There's always something wrong with Larxene, just pepper spray her, okay?" Axel started to close the door.

"No, I really mean it! Something screwed up Larxene's brain or something!" Naminè tried to explain.

"What do you mean?" Axel said.

"Like she's nice," Naminè was trying to get Axel to rush.

"That's a bad thing?" Axel asked.

"Just come with me!" Naminè took Axel's hand and dragged him to the girl's suite.

"Are you ready?" Naminè asked when they were outside of the room.

"Sure," Axel said, missing Roxas.

Naminè opened the door, "Larxene! Axel came over to visit us!"

"Oh goody! Hi Axel!" Larxene said really cheery.

Axel looked at her strange, "Hi Larxene,"

"Oh my goodness! I am terribly sorry about what I did to you this afternoon!" Larxene said.

"You are?" Axel was starting to get freaked out too.

"Yes! I can't stop thinking how awful I was, that I decided that I would apologize to you, and admit that I was wrong!" Larxene smiled.

"You are?" Axel said, more freaked out.

"Mhm! I was wrong Axel!" she hugged him.

"WHAT DID THEY DO?" Axel started shaking Larxene.

"What do you mean?" Larxene was confused now.

"LARXENE YOU BETTER NOT HE JOKING WITH ME I SWEAR!" Axel continued to shake her like a doll.

"Axel, that hurts!" Larxene tried to gently force him off of her.

"NO, WAKE UP! STOP BEING NICE! IT IS SCARY!" Axel shook her again.

"Axel!" Naminè tried to get his attention.

"What?" he said, still shaking her.

"Maybe she'll be back to normal in the morning!" Naminè suggested.

Axel dropped Larxene, "I'm so confused,"

Xion woke up that morning with a headache. This was why she got high, not drunk.

Hangovers were a bitch.

Her stomach heaved again and Xion groaned and started walking to the bathroom, but it was locked, "Hey in there! I feel sick!"

"Wait a minute!" a voice called from inside.

The door opened to reveal Larxene, "Move!" Xion shoved Larxene out of the way.

Xion hurled into the toilet for the millionth time in the past twenty four hours.

A hand patted her back, "Huh?" Xion turned around and saw Larxene comforting her, "Go ahead! Make fun of me!"

"Why would I do that?" Larxene said with a sweetness in her voice.

"Because that's what you do!" Xion leaned over the toilet again and coughed.

"You know, you shouldn't do that," Larxene rubbed her back.

"Ah! You are a lesbian!" Xion smacked Larxene's hand away.

"No, I'm not," Larxene said calmly.

"Ahhhh! NAMINÈ!" Xion screamed.

Naminè ran into the bathroom, "What is it?"

"HELP LARXENE HAS LOST CONTROL OF HER LESBIAN HORMONES!" Xion pushed Larxene away.

"Uh, Xion," Naminè said.

"What?" Xion said, still freaked.

"Larxene was sort of brainwashed, so she's going to act-nice," Naminè said.

"That's not exactly what happened," Larxene said.

"SHUT UP!" Xion screamed, "Shutupshutupshutup!"

Xemnas heard a knock at his door, "What?" he groaned.

"It's Naminè!" a little voice called from outside the door.

Xemnas crawled out of bed and walked groggily to the door and opened it, "What?"

"Something is wrong with Larxene," Naminè said.

"What do you mean?" Xemnas asked, rubbing his eyes, trying to wake up.

"She's just weird!" that's when Larxene popped up behind Naminè.

"Oh hi Xemnas! Good morning!" Larxene giggled giddily.

"Larxene? Wha-" Xemnas was confused (we are with you).

"She's been brainwashed!" Naminè exclaimed.

"Then take her downstairs," Xemnas shut the door.

Larxene didn't know why everyone was so weirded out by her transformation.

They had accepted her as a mean person, why not a nice one?

"Hi, I'd like to ask a question!" Naminè said at the front desk.

"Yes?" asked the peppermint at the front desk.

"There's something wrong with my friend," Naminè gestured to Larxene.

"What seems to be the problem?" the peppermint asked.

"She's not herself at all," Naminè said seriously, trying to be taken seriously.

"I think she has been brainwashed," Naminè said.

"That's out policy when someone misbehaves," the peppermint replied.

Naminè turned white, "YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE?"

"I thought you would love the improvements!" the candy said.

"NO THEY ARE SCARY!" Naminè screeched and threw Larxene forward, "FIX IT FIX IT NOW!"

"We can't do that," the peppermint replied.

"PLEASE! PLEASE!" Naminè pleaded.

"How much are you willing to pay?" the peppermint asked.

"ANYTHING! IT'S SCARY!" Naminè screeched.

"1,000,000 munny!" Naminè almost fainted.

But remember earlier Marluxia was scared of Naminè's drawings?

That's because, under cover, Naminè is a yaoi novelist; so she plopped the munny right on the desk.

"Right this way miss," the peppermint guided Larxene to the back.

"Well that's a load off," Naminè sighed.

"Oh! One more thing! She won't be fully back to normal until Saturday as the very least!" crap, it was Tuesday. 


	9. Chapter 9

"How much do you want for repairing the RV?" Xemnas asked the mechanic.

"650 munny," the mechanic held out his hand.

"WHAT?" Saïx screamed.

"Sir, that's a lot of munny," Larxene cut in.

"That's how much I need for the repairs," he said.

"BUT ALL YOU DID WAS CHANGE A FUCKING TIRE!" Xemnas screamed at the poor scrawny man.

"Yes, I know. But I'm broke!" the mechanic whined.

"I'll give you 100 munny!" Xemnas offered.

"I said 650!" the mechanic shot back.

"That is way too overpriced!" Xemnas insisted.

"Well, one of you fifteen people should have changed the damned tire!" the mechanic shot back.

"Like we could lift the RV up by ourselves and change the tire," Axel said sarcastically.

"Maybe you could've! Just give me the munny and I'll be on my way!" the mechanic kept annoying everyone.

"Listen you asshole! Just because you can change a tire doesn't mean you can drain all our munny!" Larxene finally cut in, finally starting to go back to normal.

"Hey blondie! I would love to see you go through half the shit I go through every day!" the mechanic yelled.

"WHAT YOU GO THROUGH? I AM JUST A TEENAGE GIRL LIVING WITH TWELVE GAY MEN SURRONDING ME EVERY DAY! THERE ARE TWO OTHER GIRLS! ONE IS A DRUG ADDICT AND ONE IS A CHICK WHO ONLY SITS THERE AND DRAWS! SO DON'T GO RANTING TO ME HOW MUCH YOUR LIFE SUCKS!" yeah, Larxene is definitely going back to normal.

"My wife just left me and took all of my kids! I have no home, and no car! All I have left is my Barney toy!" the mechanic began to rant, which is what Larxene told him exactly not to do.

So Larxene summoned her knives and chopped him to bits, "I JUST PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMNED MISERY!"

"Well that recovery was faster than what they expected," Naminè said, not really making sense to anyone except Axel.

"You know, we are going to all be accused of murder," Xigbar said.

"Yeah-" Marluxia sighed.

"Let's get in RV and act like this never happened, okay?" Axel suggested.

"Let's," Vexen said and they all ran in and sped away from the crime scene.

"But it is Pete Wentz fault," Xaldin muttered.

Xion sighed and looked at her drugs, "What'll be today?" she asked herself.

"How about nothing for a change?" Naminè suggested.

"That's the dumbest thing you've ever said! And you said some dumb things in Chain of Memories!" Xion said and decided just to go with pot.

Vexen immediately went to his lab, he hoped that no one had discovered all of his illegal experiments. Escpically the zombie one.

What could he say? He had no life!

He felt around his desk and instead of falling vials, he felt something furry, "What th-"

After a couple minutes of thinking what he should do, Vexen decided it would be smart to ask the other members.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU LARXENE!" Xigbar screamed while shooting all of his ammo at her avatar.

"GOOD LUCK!" Larxene screamed whole sidestepping his avatar's attacks.

"WHY ARE WE YELLING?" Xigbar asked her.

"I HAVE NO IDEA!" Larxene replied, winning as always, because blonde bitches rock at Halo.

"You guys! You guys!" Vexen jumped in front of the TV, causing Larxene to lose focus, letting Xigbar win.

"Aww, what the hell is so important Vexen?" Larxene said over Xigbar's triumphant yells.

"I found this in my lab, and I have no idea what it is!" Vexen held up a Barney plush doll.

"That's a Barney doll," Larxene said plainly, "Just go in your corner Vexen, no one loves you!"

"Ahh, but Barney does!" Vexen squeezed the doll and the purple thing said, "I love you!"

Larxene rolled her eyes, "That's a robot recording dumb ass,"

"No, it's not," the doll said.

"FUCK!" Larxene screamed and ran out of the living room because nothing scares a sadist like Barney.

Lexeaus and Zexion ran in the room, "What happened?" Lexeaus demanded.

"BARNEY!" Zexion screamed and ran over to give it a but emo hug.

"No, my Barney!" Vexen squeezed the poor thing and slapped Zexion's hand away.

Zexion them sobbed and Lexeaus had to calm him down.

"What the hell is going on here?" Saïx came into the living room.

"That moronic mechanic left his Barney doll in my lab, and Zexion is trying to take it from me," Vexen explained in his creeper voice that we all hate.

"Vexen, give Zexion the Barney," Saïx said.

"But-"

"GIVE THE EMO THE DAMNED BARNEY DOLL!" Saïx yelled.

"I have a feeling favorites are being played here," Vexen said, but handed Zexion the doll.

"Correct, since no one loves you, and Zexion has billons of fangirls, he gets the Barney," Saïx said.

"I love you, Barney! I have always believed in you!" Zexion squeezed Barney.

Then there was a rainbow of sparkles, and the Barney doll turned into a human sized dinosaur, "Hello everbody!"

"BARNEY!" Zexion and Vexen ran for a hug.

But Barney shoved Vexen away, "No Vexen nobody loves you,"

Vexen cried and ran into his forever alone corner. For no one not even Barney, his idol, loves him.

"What is happening?" Larxene came back into the living room, only to see a purple dinosaur hugging Zexion.

"Uhhh-" Larxene had no idea what to say.

Barney rushed over to Larxene, "Someone needs a big hug!"

"Please no!" Larxene tried to run but Barney is a professional stalker, and he was already hugging her.

"Isn't this great?" Barney sighed, only to be electrocuted by Larxene.

Barney collapsed on the floor, and Larxene screamed, "WHY IS BARNEY ALIVE? WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Mercy! I did nothing!" Vexen put his hands pathetically in front of his face.

"We have to kill him!" Larxene prepared her knives for what she had been training to do all of her life.

"NOOOOO! NOT BARNEY!" Zexion screamed.

"Get out of the way emo boy, Barney is going down!" Larxene said.

"Wait! He hasn't even posed a threat yet!" Zexion said, protective of his new best friend.

"He has posed a threat to my sanity!" Larxene rose her knives and got ready to launch them.

Barney chose that very moment to wake up, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Larxene whimpered, "Nothing! Killing a spider!"

"LIES! LYING IS NAUGHTY!" Barney roared and started to squeeze Larxene's neck.

"No please, I have already been brainwashed in this fic!" Larxene struggled, "Zexion! He's a threat!"

But all Zexion could see was a flashback of all the times he had watched Barney, and how it compared, "Friend! Stop!"

But it was too late, everyone was fighting Barney.

Roxas was just hanging out with Axel when they heard screams, and decided to check it out.

Everyone else had the same idea, for all of Organization XIII was in the living room, fighting an evil Barney?

Axel screamed, "Why, Barney? WHYYYY?"

"Superior! What do we do?" Demyx asked over all the noise.

"We'll have to defeat Barney!" Xemnas said after thinking.

They all braced to kill their childhood hero. 


	10. Chapter 10

Zexion began to cry once Xigbar opened fire onto Barney, "WHYYYY?" Zexion wailed into the night.

"Shut up, he is going to eliminate us all if we let him loose!" Larxene while she made a mini lightning storm in the living room.

"KEEP IT DOWN I'M DRIVING!" Xemnas screamed from the front of the RV.

"WE ARE TAKING CARE OF A PYSCO DINOSAUR RIGHT NOW!" Demyx screamed back.

"I got this guys! I got it!" Xion said, ramming Barney with her keyblade, but since she was high again, instead of hitting Barney, she hit thin air which is very productive.

Barney laughed at Xion's failed attempts, "YOU CAN NEVER DEFEAT ME!"

Axel threw his big chakram things, and Barney started crying, allowing all the other members to slash at him with all they could.

"Uhh, guys!" Xemnas called from the front again.

"What?" Demyx asked as he struggled to fight since electricity and water don't mix well.

"A police car is tailing us, I just went 30 miles per hour over the speed limit!" Xemnas started to pull onto the side of the road.

"Ahh Xemnas!" everyone whined and tried to pin down Barney, Larxene, Axel, Roxas, and Lexeaus kept hitting Barney, trying to stay quiet, yet still get rid of Barney ASAP.

"Is there a problem, officer?" Xemnas asked, yelling to the ground since their RV was pretty high up, and this officer was short.

"Do you realize how fast you were going?" he asked.

"Why no, I don't!" Xemnas said, trying to act curious, although he knew damned well how fast his own RV was going.

"You were going about 30 mph over the speed limit," the officer stated.

"Oh my goodness me! I did not even notice!" Xemnas glanced over his shoulder only to see Barney still fighting his members.

"I'm gonna have to give you a ticket," the police officer said, going back to his car to get the papers.

"Damn it!" Xemnas pounded the dashboard where there was still a dent.

Battle cries like, "DIE YOU PATHETIC VEGETARIAN!" ran throughout the RV.

"Hey guys! Could you shut up maybe?" Xemnas said, his patience waning thin.

"Sure thing Superior!" Roxas answered, and bashed the dino even more.

"God damn this thing has endurance!" Larxene made more storms quickly so she could deal damage while the officer was away.

"I wonder how long this will go on!" Axel said.

"Quiet! Quiet! He's coming back!" Xemnas said loud enough for only them to hear.

The three proceeded to fight quietly while Xemnas took care of the officer.

"Where are you taking this RV?" the officer asked while giving Xemnas the ticket.

"To a family reunion!" Xemnas lied quickly.

"Ah! How nice!" he nodded, "Where is your family?"

"In the back!" Xemnas pointed.

"Can I meet someone to confirm you aren't just lying, procedure," he said.

"Right," Xemnas started the think quickly, "Larxene! Come here please!"

Larxene turned around and mouthed 'No!'

Xemnas gave him a look that said 'Ger your sorry ass up here!'

Larxene out her knives down and walked over to Xemnas, "This is my-wife,"

Larxene kicked him, but smiled at the officer, "Hello,"

So your husband here says you're going to a family reunion," he said.

"Yes, we are!" Larxene smiled, trying not to die of embarrassment.

"Your husband was going a bit too fast back there," the officer pointed out.

"You did?" Larxene glared at Xemnas.

"Yes, I did," Xemnas said sadly.

"I just gave him a ticket," he said.

"That's peachy," Larxene said sarcastically.

"You have any kids with you two?" the officer asked.

"Yes,we do," Xemnas nodded.

"How many and how old?" the officer asked.

"Three, and they all are fourteen," Larxene said, trying to get this over with.

"Triplets, huh?" he asked. Larxene and Xemnas nodded in unison.

"I'd like to meet them, right now," the officer said.

"Greaaat!" Larxene smiled, "Xion! Roxas! Naminè!"

The three rushed up to Larxene immediately, "There you three are! This officer just stopped us,"

"Hi!" Roxas waved.

"Nice to meet you!" Naminè smiled.

"Mommy, I feel sick," Xion said.

"Then go on to the bathroom and take care of that," Larxene ushered Xion away.

"Well, is there anyone else back there?" the officer asked.

"Some brothers and cousins and whatnot," Xemnas nodded.

"Alright, drive safe now," the officer went back to his car and drove away.

"I hate you," Larxene hissed and smacked Xemnas before running back to take care of Barney.

Axel hated fighting Barney. It was like kicking and drowning a puppy with no shame.

The magical penguin man got his powers from Barney, which made this situation all the more awkward.

Saïx groaned, "He isn't dying! I want to know how close we are!"

Zexion took out his magical book that was the source of his powers and chanted something, and just like a video game, a HP bar popped in front of them.

They had gotten rid of 5/12 HP bars, so they were almost done. Knowing how far they were made them more determined and ready for whatever came their way.

Demyx charged the dino, and got ready to attack, but all he was able to see in those eyes was, "I love you!"

"This is harder than I thought it would be," Demyx stepped back, clearing the way for the ever ruthless Larxene to attempt to cut Barney's eyes out.

"Isn't this what I planned to do on this vacation?" Vexen said before randomly firing ice around the wall that Barney was up against.

"This is definetly what I wanted to do!" Larxene laughed and continued to destroy the bid purple dinosaur.

-Later-

The HP bar ran out and Barney collapsed on the ground, "NOOOOO!" Demyx and Zexion screamed in denial, "I LOVE YOU!"

"Be. Goood," was Barney's parting words, which made the pussies cry harder.

"So what do we do with the body?" Axel wondered.

"I don't know, ask Larxene!" Lexeaus replied.

"NO ONE ASKED YOU!" Axel yelled at him.

Lexeaus cried, "My life has no purpose,"

"That's right, Lexeaus. You are a waste of space," Marluxia said hypnotically.

"I am," Lexeaus sniffed.

"Everyone lied to your face. Even your Mother when she said you are great," Marluxia continued.

"Even Mommy lied to me," he began to cry.

"You'd do everyone a favor if you killed yourself," Marluxia said, grabbing everyone's attention.

"I should kill myself," Lexeaus started to sob and then he took out a gun.

"LOOK OUT HE HAS A GUN!" Larxene screamed.

Then the room chorused with 'do it' and one 'DON'T DO IT LEXEAUS! I LOVE YOU!' from Zexion.

"Good-bye cruel world," Lexeaus pulled the trigger, but nothing happened.

"You left the safety on you bastard!" Marluxia yelled.

Lexeaus switched off the safety and said once again, "Good-bye cruel world!"

BANG

"OH MY GOD HE ACTUALLY DID IT!" Larxene screamed.

Everyone was freaking the fuck out except Xion who was drawing pretty pictures in the blood.

Which made everyone believe she was spending too much time with Larxene. 


	11. Chapter 11

"What happened?" Xemnas yelled from the driver seat.

"Uhhh, we got rid of Barney!" Marluxia said happily.

"I know that! But something else just happened!" Xemnas said unaware that the most unloved member committed suicide.

"MARLUXIA CONVINCED LEXEAUS TO KILL HIMSELF AND NOW HE'S DEAD!" Zexion sobbed for the loss of his bitch.

"WHAT?" the superior said now mad at flower boy.

"Ahhh! I'm freaking out!" Axel said, running around the RV in a panic.

"We all are!" Saïx responded.

"Oh well, he was a waste of space," Marluxia took out some wipes and started doing the woman's job of cleaning the blood.

"You! This is YOUR FAULT!" Zexion pointed at him.

"We all know he would have done it anyway," flower boy continued to wipe up the blood.

"Xigbar, why did he do that?" Demyx whimpered.

"I don't know little guy. I don't know," he said and scooped his bitch up and carried him to bed.

"Have you figured out what to do with the body yet, Larxene?" Xaldin asked the plotting blond.

"Not yet-" she trailed off.

"Well hurry up. I don't like the face he's making," Vexen shivered, for that's all anyone dearer about.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU MARLUXIA!" Zexion screamed before starting to pull his pretty pink hair.

"OH NO NOT MY HAIR! ANYTHING BUT MY PERFECT HAIR!" Marluxia cried.

"I got it!" Larxene cried suddenly.

"What are going to do with it?" Luxord asked as he dealt his cards for another round with Naminè and Roxas.

"We should throw it out of the RV!" Larxene said

"No, too conspicuous," Luxord said.

"Well-let me think some more-" Larxene turned on her sadistic brain and went to work again.

Luxord sighed, "What unfortunate events,"

Xion just giggled, "I thought it was pretty,"

"Larxene! Leave Xion alone!" Axel yelled.

"SHUT UP! I AM NOT A LESBIAN!" Larxene yelled.

"I didn't accuse you of that," Axel said.

"But it- and you. It sounded like- I AM NOT A LESBIAN!" Larxene slammed her head against the wall.

"Well now what?" Vexen asked, causing everyone to banish him to his forever alone corner.

"I got it!" Larxene smiled that smile that everyone hates.

"What?" Vexen asked.

"We can drop him off somewhere, like a hotel and make it look like he just killed himself there!" she laughed wickedly into the night with thunder and lightning conveniently in the background.

"That's dumber than the last one," Xemnas said.

"Hey! I can't help when my brain works and when it doesn't!" Larxene said.

"Here! Read yaoi!" Axel threw a book at her and Larxene started to read.

"Well, let her get her disturbing mind on and while we wait let us make out with our bitches," Saïx said and everyone went to their room.

Besides Zexion who had to fight with Xigbar over who'd get Demyx.

-Later-

"I GOT IT!" Larxene jumped out of her room.

"What?" Vexen demanded.

"We go deep in the forest, dig a hole put the body inside, and pour gasoline all over it and then throw a match in! Causing a forest fire! Killing innocent animals and taking care of Lexeaus!" Larxene laughed wickedly with thunder and lightning conveniently in the background.

"Okay," Xemnas turned off the exit and drove into the forest.

"Vexen! You find a good place to dig a hole," Xemnas assigned him.

"You can count on me!" Vexen saluted.

"Shut up," Xemnas said, making Vexen cry again.

"Oh! According to the density of the trees here and the volume of this clearing, we should be able to stuff the mass of Lexeaus into a hole if the circumference is clear enough!" Vexen pointed at a clearing.

Larxene smacked him in the back of his head with a shovel, "A simple 'Right there!' would do,"

Axel and Larxene dragged out Lexeaus' body over into the clearing and they both started digging.

"Good plan!" Axel yelled and flicked some dirt on her face.

Larxene hissed and pulled out more of his hair, causing a tear in the fabric of the universe.

Eventually, they made a big enough hole to stuff Lexeaus in, "Everyone get your asses out here!" Larxene yelled.

"What?" Vexen asked in a nightgown and nightcap that made him look like Scrooge.

"We are going to say some words to say good bye in order of rank," Axel said.

Xemnas stood up first and sighed, "You were a strong fighter," he said and poured some gasoline in the hole.

"You were good at Xbox," Xigbar poured more gas inside.

"You looked hot in that pink apron you wore when you helped me last Thanksgiving," Xaldin said (let's just know that everyone pours in gasoline, ok?)

"You were cooperative when I asked for you to try out my ugly potion," Vexen said, "Which turned out great!" he added.

"Oh, Lexeaus. I just want you to know that I love you so much. Even in death, no one may ever keep us apart. You were there for me, and someday I hope that we may be reunited," Zexion poured in as little gasoline as possible and stepped back.

"You were quiet and that's the only reason I ever respected you," Saïx said.

"Uhhhhh, got it memorized?" Axel said.

"I liked it when you pushed me on the swing," Demyx said.

"You were awful at poker, so now I must say thank you for all the munny," Luxord said.

"You were a waste of space and I hope you burn forever," Marluxia said.

"Thank you for making me laugh tonight when you killed yourself," Larxene said and poured in way more gasoline than called for.

"Thanks for protecting from Axel yesterday," Roxas said.

"Thanks for all the drugs and connections," Xion said.

"I have no idea what to say," Naminè said before pouring the rest of the gasoline in.

"Now! Who gets the honor of throwing in the match?" Xemnas asked.

"Me!" "Me!" "Me!" "Me!"

"It was my plan!"

"I encouraged him to do it,"

"I'm the penguin man!"

"I was his bitch!"

In the end, Larxene got to do it because she got pissed off and everyone got scared. 


End file.
